In last week's Parasha (Vayeitzei), the sons of Lavan told their father that Yaakov had taken all that belonged to him - his flocks and family etc... After accepting this false statement, Lavan no longer looked at Yaakov the same way. Yaakov noticed this change in Lavan, and told Rachel and Leah, in secret, that it was time to go.
This week's Parasha starts off with Yaakov and his family on their journey home, to Yaakovs family. Yaakov sent messengers to Eisav to tell him he was back and wished to live in peace with him. Yaakov gave them detailed instructions on how to deal with Eisav. "Humble yourselves before him. Call him, 'My master.' However, make sure he knows our position. Tell him in my name, 'I have lived with Lavan, the master of all magicians and swindlers, but I overcame him. Despite living in Lavan's house, I fulfilled all 613 mitzvos. I have acquired oxen, donkeys, sheep, servants and maidservants.' Yaakov was telling Eisav that if he wants peace, then Yaakov is ready for peace; but if it is war he seeks, Yaakov is ready for that as well. The messengers went to do as they were told, but later came back with discouraging news. "Eisav is coming out to meet you with four hundred men." [1]
The posuk says, "Yaakov was very frightened and distressed." How can it be Yaakov was scared? Scared of what? Doesn't he have Hashem protecting him? Additionally, he had just sent messengers to Eisav saying he was 'ready for war'- what was that all about? He seemed pretty confident then, what happened now?? There are LOTS of explanations for this. Rashi says, "He feared the possibility he might get killed, and was distressed that he might have to kill others." [2] The Toldos Yitzchak says, "Yaakov was afraid because he remembered Eisav mentioning many years back that he was going to kill him when Yitzchak (their father) dies. Yaakov thought for sure he was an avel (a mourner).
Another possible answer: There is a special mitzva of Kibud Av V'Em (honoring one's parents) which prolongs one's life (as mentioned in the Torah). [3] Yaakov wasn't in the same home town as his father, and Eisav was. Yaakov was worried, "I didn't fulfilled the mitzvah of Kibud Av V'em as much as Eisav did." The Ramban explains that the mitzvah of kibud av v'em was only fulfilled once Yaakov went to Lavan's house, as he was instructed by his parents. [Rivka instructed Yaakov to flee from his brother's rage; and Yitzchak instructed him to find a wife in Lavan's household.] However, instead of going straight to Lavan's house, he went to yeshiva. For the fourteen years he was learning in yeshiva, he didn't have the chance to honor his parents. Therefore, Eisav may have done more kibud av v'em than Yaakov. Maybe this explains why Yaakov was afraid he would die - he might not have merited a prolonged life like Eisav did.
An additional explanation as to why Yaakov was afraid: Yaakov knew that if any member of his camp had sinned, Hashem would not come to his assistance. [4] This is a very fundamental lesson. The Rambam says, "Everyone should see themselves throughout the year as if they have the same amount of sins and mitzvos (merits), which also has an influence on the whole world. One should think, 'If I sin, then the whole world is judged harshly, but if I do a mitzva, then the whole world is judged favorably because of me.' [5] This gives a person a tremendous responsibility to the world.
A parable can explain this concept better: A child is a parent's responsibility. Every action the parent makes has an effect on the child. A simple example is; leaving a sharp knife on the table, or medication where the child can reach it. The outcome can be deadly.
A lesson we can learn by Yaakov being "afraid," is that a person must always think, "the whole world is depending on me. Every occurance is dependent on my actions. Suppose I do something wrong, what will happen to my family or friend? Do I really want to take that risk?"
Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso
[1] Bereshis Rabba 75:6
[2] Rashi 32:8
[3] Shmos 20:12
[4] Bereshis Rabba 76:2
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