Parashas VaYigash

Yosef had been through a lot in the last several years. He was sold to Yishmaelites by his brothers, who then sold him as a slave to Potiphar. Potiphar thought highly of Yosef, making him in charge of everything in his household except for his wife. After being falsely accused of attempting to seduce Potiphar's wife, Yosef got thrown into jail. He got released twelve years later to interpret Pharoh's dream. Pharoh, impressed by Yosef's interpetation, made him second highest authority, next to himself.

The interpretation Yosef gave Pharoh was: There were going to be seven years of bountiful produce, and seven years of severe famine. Pharoh made Yosef in charge of regulating the produce for all fourteen years. Everyone from far and near came to Yosef to stock up on food during the famine years. Yosef commanded the guards at every gate to sign in whoever entered, hoping to see his brothers on the list. He would check the list periodically. When he saw his brothers' names on the list, he summoned them before him.

At first, Yosef accused them of being spies, wondering why each brother entered in different gates (brothers usually travel in one unit.) Yosef questioned them, asking who their father was, how many brothers they have etc... They replied that their youngest brother, Binyamin, was at home with their father. He demanded that they bring Binyamin in order to prove that they weren't spies. After their journey back and forth, the brothers finally arrived with Binyamin. Upon seeing Binyamin, Yosef invited all the brothers to dine with him and stay the night. Before departing, Yosef implanted a vessel in Binyamin's sack. He accused the brothers of taking it, and suggested that the one holding the goblet would remain with Yosef, while the rest would be pardoned. In Parashas VaYigash, there's a debate between Yehuda and Yosef, whether Binyamin should stay with Yosef or leave with the brothers. Yehuda spoke harshly because he was entrusted by Yaakov to bring Binyamin back. Once Yosef saw Yehuda was ready to destroy the whole city to retrieve Binyamin, he decided the truth must come out. [1]

Yosef sent all of the Egyptians out of the room, and revealed to the brothers that he indeed was Yosef. They were all speechless and embarrassed. Yosef tried comforting them, saying, "It wasn't you who put me here, it was Hashem. He knew this would be best for me." When Yosef saw they were still in shock, he added, "You see that I am Yosef, because I am speaking to you in Lashon HaKodesh (Hebrew). Tell my father about my glory in Egypt. Rush him down here."

Yosef sent ten donkeys filled with the delicacies of Egypt and old wine, along with other things. He told the brothers, "If our father has a hard time believing you, just mention to him that I escorted you out, because that was the last halacha (law) I learned with him - the importance of accompanying a guest." Yosef sent different types of hints which revealed he was alive and well.

A couple weeks ago, I had a shabbos guest that asked me, "Why didn't the brothers do teshuva for the pain they put their father in?" Truth is, I thought to my self, I don't remember seeing anywhere that they did. The Torah mentions they went to Yaakov saying, "Yosef is alive!", but they didn't apologize. I was learning Rav Schwab's sefer (book) with my chavrusa (study partner), and noticed that he answers the question as follows: It says that Yaakov didn't believe them right away when they approached him, saying Yosef was alive, since this must have meant that the original statement they told Yaakov (making him assume Yosef was torn to pieces by animals) was a lie. The sages say, when a person lies, even the truth isn't believed. The brothers understood what they did was wrong; therefore, the only way to atone and correct their ways was to tell Yaakov about the sale of Yosef, and to ask for mechilla (forgiveness). [2]

The posuk [3] says, "And they told him [Yaakov] all the words of Yosef," including that which Yosef told the brothers, "I am Yosef, your brother, the one you sold into Egypt." Only then did Yaakov believe them.

Yosef could have told Yaakov himself that he was alive and ruler of Egypt, but that would mean the brothers would not have gotten a chance to repent properly. Having regret isn't the only step one needs to do to obtain Hashem's forgiveness. One needs to ask for forgiveness from the person he hurt as well. The Chofetz Chaim says, if a Jew harms another Jew and pleas only to Hashem for forgiveness, Hashem says 'I can only forgive you for the sin you committed against Me, but how can I forgive you for something you did to someone else? Go ask the person you harmed to forgive you." [4]

A lesson that can be learned from this week's parasha is: When a person hurts someone else, it is better to ask for forgiveness on their own, as opposed to sending a messenger to do the dirty work for them. The brothers realized it was better to ask for forgiveness on their own in order to do the full tshuva (repentance).

[It must be noted that when a person does something bad to someone else which the person wasn't aware of, and no damage came from it, then one does not have to ask that person for forgiveness. As a matter a fact, Rav Yisrael Salanter wasn't keen on people approaching the ones they hurt, telling them what they did wrong and asking for forgiveness, because that might cause the person additional pain. Each case is different, and when in doubt, ask your Rabbi.]

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] Bereshis Rabba 93:8
[2] M'ein Beis Shwai'va
[3] 45:27
[4] Sefer Chofetz Chaim 4:12