Parashas Vayeishev

Parashas Vayeishev speaks about how Yaakov favored Yosef over his other sons. He even made Yosef a special garment with many beautiful colors, which led Yosef's brothers to hate him.

Yosef had a couple of dreams which made his brothers hate him even more. First dream: Yosef and his brothers were in the field binding sheaves, and all their sheaves surrounded Yosef's sheaf, and prostrated to it. Second dream: The sun, the moon, and all eleven stars prostrated themselves in front of Yosef. His father rebuked him asking, "What's this dream you had? Shall I, your mother, and your brothers come to bow down to you?"

Yaakov sent Yosef to Shechem, where the brothers were pasturing the sheep, to inquire about them. He asked someone along the way if they had passed his brothers, and this person said he over heard them say they were going to Doson. On his way to Doson, the brothers saw him from a distance, and plotted to kill him. Reuvain (the oldest) tried refraining his other brothers from killing Yosef. He suggested they throw him into a pit, intending to rescue him later.

When Yosef reached his brothers, they stripped him of his colorful garment and threw him into a pit. They had just sat down to eat, when they saw a Yishmaelite caravan, on its way down to Egypt. Yehuda suggested selling Yosef instead of killing him. After the sale transaction, they dipped his garment into goat's blood and brought it back to Yaakov, who concluded that Yosef had been devoured by beasts and torn into pieces.

Yosef was brought down to Egypt, and sold to an officer of Pharaoh - Potifar, the chief executioner of Egypt. Yosef found favor in his eyes because of his honesty and dedication to work. Potiphar saw something in Yosef which he didn't see in his other slaves. Yosef didn't steal or lie - rather, he caused his master's possession to increase. [1] Yosef went from serving Potiphar, to handling all his keys and withholding nothing from him except his own wife. [2]

While Yosef was sitting comfortably in Potiphar's house, Rashi explains he was eating, drinking, and curling his hair, Hashem said, "Your father is in mourning, and you curl your hair! I will bring out a bear against you." [3] Immediately after that, Potiphar's wife set her eyes upon him. (I can't imagine what she must of looked like, just kidding) She tried everything possible to seduce him, but he would not pay any attention to her. There was a day where nobody was around the house, except for Yosef. She decided then, she would make her move. She grabbed him by his garment, saying, "Be with me." He fled, leaving his garment in her hands. She was nervous that Yosef would tell Potiphar what had happened, so she quickly ran to the men of her household, claiming that Yosef had just tried seducing her, and that he fled once she cried out in a loud voice, leaving his garment in her hands.

The Torah says that she spoke to her husband (Potiphar) telling him, "The Hebrew slave came to me, the same one you brought into our home, to mock me. When I raised my voice and cried out, he fled outside." Potiphar became furious, says the posuk. He wanted to kill Yosef, but was convinced otherwise and sent him to jail instead. This line got me thinking, "Potiphar became furious with Yosef? He favored Yosef, trusting him with his possessions, and now within seconds can totally feel the opposite reaction? Only because his wife said something, before even confirming if it was accurate?!

The Chofetz Chaim says, "Many people tell their family members (specifically husbands and wives) all the bad things people did to them in yeshiva, or at work. The spouses ask each other how their day went, and feel the need to tell them even the negative things that happened. Not only is it a big sin, but it will also cause fighting between the two families. Spouses won't come to confirm the information. They will be on their husband/wife's side out of loyalty to one another, and will believe the statement automatically."[4]

A lesson learned from this week's parasha is, if there was someone who offended you, and your spouse, brother, sister - or any other family member for that matter - asks how your day was, try not to mention the negative things. Attempt to speak around the question (even if it's beneficial information). As we see by Potiphar, he really liked Yosef and trusted him 100%, but that all changed only because his wife spoke bad of him. One must realize that no matter what the situation is, family comes first; therefore, out of loyalty they will come to believe the statements before confirming anything else. The same applies to the one asking the question. Don't be a 'Potiphar;' who jumps to conclusions without first making sure the information was correct. There are two sides to every story.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

[1] Bereshis Raba 86:3

[2] Bereshis Raba 86:7

[3] Bereshis 39:6

[4] Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchos Lashon Hara, 8:10