Parashas VaYigash

Yosef had been through a lot in the last several years. He was sold to Yishmaelites by his brothers, who then sold him as a slave to Potiphar. Potiphar thought highly of Yosef, making him in charge of everything in his household except for his wife. After being falsely accused of attempting to seduce Potiphar's wife, Yosef got thrown into jail. He got released twelve years later to interpret Pharoh's dream. Pharoh, impressed by Yosef's interpetation, made him second highest authority, next to himself.

The interpretation Yosef gave Pharoh was: There were going to be seven years of bountiful produce, and seven years of severe famine. Pharoh made Yosef in charge of regulating the produce for all fourteen years. Everyone from far and near came to Yosef to stock up on food during the famine years. Yosef commanded the guards at every gate to sign in whoever entered, hoping to see his brothers on the list. He would check the list periodically. When he saw his brothers' names on the list, he summoned them before him.

At first, Yosef accused them of being spies, wondering why each brother entered in different gates (brothers usually travel in one unit.) Yosef questioned them, asking who their father was, how many brothers they have etc... They replied that their youngest brother, Binyamin, was at home with their father. He demanded that they bring Binyamin in order to prove that they weren't spies. After their journey back and forth, the brothers finally arrived with Binyamin. Upon seeing Binyamin, Yosef invited all the brothers to dine with him and stay the night. Before departing, Yosef implanted a vessel in Binyamin's sack. He accused the brothers of taking it, and suggested that the one holding the goblet would remain with Yosef, while the rest would be pardoned. In Parashas VaYigash, there's a debate between Yehuda and Yosef, whether Binyamin should stay with Yosef or leave with the brothers. Yehuda spoke harshly because he was entrusted by Yaakov to bring Binyamin back. Once Yosef saw Yehuda was ready to destroy the whole city to retrieve Binyamin, he decided the truth must come out. [1]

Yosef sent all of the Egyptians out of the room, and revealed to the brothers that he indeed was Yosef. They were all speechless and embarrassed. Yosef tried comforting them, saying, "It wasn't you who put me here, it was Hashem. He knew this would be best for me." When Yosef saw they were still in shock, he added, "You see that I am Yosef, because I am speaking to you in Lashon HaKodesh (Hebrew). Tell my father about my glory in Egypt. Rush him down here."

Yosef sent ten donkeys filled with the delicacies of Egypt and old wine, along with other things. He told the brothers, "If our father has a hard time believing you, just mention to him that I escorted you out, because that was the last halacha (law) I learned with him - the importance of accompanying a guest." Yosef sent different types of hints which revealed he was alive and well.

A couple weeks ago, I had a shabbos guest that asked me, "Why didn't the brothers do teshuva for the pain they put their father in?" Truth is, I thought to my self, I don't remember seeing anywhere that they did. The Torah mentions they went to Yaakov saying, "Yosef is alive!", but they didn't apologize. I was learning Rav Schwab's sefer (book) with my chavrusa (study partner), and noticed that he answers the question as follows: It says that Yaakov didn't believe them right away when they approached him, saying Yosef was alive, since this must have meant that the original statement they told Yaakov (making him assume Yosef was torn to pieces by animals) was a lie. The sages say, when a person lies, even the truth isn't believed. The brothers understood what they did was wrong; therefore, the only way to atone and correct their ways was to tell Yaakov about the sale of Yosef, and to ask for mechilla (forgiveness). [2]

The posuk [3] says, "And they told him [Yaakov] all the words of Yosef," including that which Yosef told the brothers, "I am Yosef, your brother, the one you sold into Egypt." Only then did Yaakov believe them.

Yosef could have told Yaakov himself that he was alive and ruler of Egypt, but that would mean the brothers would not have gotten a chance to repent properly. Having regret isn't the only step one needs to do to obtain Hashem's forgiveness. One needs to ask for forgiveness from the person he hurt as well. The Chofetz Chaim says, if a Jew harms another Jew and pleas only to Hashem for forgiveness, Hashem says 'I can only forgive you for the sin you committed against Me, but how can I forgive you for something you did to someone else? Go ask the person you harmed to forgive you." [4]

A lesson that can be learned from this week's parasha is: When a person hurts someone else, it is better to ask for forgiveness on their own, as opposed to sending a messenger to do the dirty work for them. The brothers realized it was better to ask for forgiveness on their own in order to do the full tshuva (repentance).

[It must be noted that when a person does something bad to someone else which the person wasn't aware of, and no damage came from it, then one does not have to ask that person for forgiveness. As a matter a fact, Rav Yisrael Salanter wasn't keen on people approaching the ones they hurt, telling them what they did wrong and asking for forgiveness, because that might cause the person additional pain. Each case is different, and when in doubt, ask your Rabbi.]

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] Bereshis Rabba 93:8
[2] M'ein Beis Shwai'va
[3] 45:27
[4] Sefer Chofetz Chaim 4:12

Parashas Miketz and Channuka

Parasha Miketz starts off explaining Pharoh's dream. "He was standing on the river when seven cows emerged from it - nice, fat looking ones, grazing in the reed grass. Suddenly, seven other cows emerged after them, looking scrawny and bad. These skinny cows ate up the healthy, fat looking cows..." The second dream he had was of "seven skinny stalks swallowing seven bulky stalks..." These dreams got Pharoh worried, wondering what they meant. He called everyone he could to interpret his dreams, but listened to no one. The butler remembered Yosef interpreting his dream accurately two years back, while in prison, and told Pharoh.

Pharoh summoned him, and Yosef interpreted his dreams. Not only did Yosef interpret it, but he also advised Pharoh what to do, and how to do it.

Rav Schwab asks, what was so bad about these dreams that prompted Pharoh to call the magicians of Egypt and all the wise men? Did he suspect that it was going to have an effect on the future? Rav Schwab answers, this is the way Pharoh thought: a) The majority always wins over the minority, and b) The stronger one always defeats the weaker ones. When he saw the opposite in his dreams, he was flabbergasted. He didn't think such a thing could possibly happen. It got him thinking, "Can it be that someone is trying to rebel against me? A minority, who will win?" Therefore, he searched for an interpretation to his dream. [1]

We see the concept of minority beating majority and weak winning over strong in many places. We say several times a day (during the days of Chanuka), "You (Hashem) have given the strong ones, into the hands of the weak ones...", "The majorities into the hands of the minorities, etc..." The Greeks tried destroying the Jewish religion. They prevented us from praying to Hashem, performing circumcisions, keeping Shabbos, family purity, and the list goes on. The Maccabees (the five sons of Mattisyahu; the Cohen Gadol) exerted maximum efforts to defeat the Greeks, and Hashem took care of the rest.

There is another example in this week's parasha where the "lower" overtakes the "higher." It says that Pharoh had seventy-one steps to his throne. Based on how many languages one knew, he could ascend that many steps. When Pharoh tested Yosef in different languages, Yosef was able to ascend all the way to the top step. He actually knew one more language than Pharoh did, Hebrew. Pharoh made Yosef swear not to tell anybody that he knew more languages, otherwise the people of Egypt would dismiss Pharoh as ruler. [2] Hashem had sent an angel to teach Yosef all those languages, so that Pharoh could make him part of the "high authority," since an Egyptian king or second-in-command must master all seventy languages. [3]

It's amazing how quickly Hashem can extricate a person from his dilemma, changing his whole life in a matter of seconds. A lesson which can be learned from Parashas Miketz and the story of Chanuka; When a situation seems hopeless, don't give up. Continue to have faith in Hashem, for He has infinite ways of changing a situation. Yosef went from owning nothing and living in prison, to having everything; with the ability to also provide for his family in their time of need. Yosef didn't give up on Hashem's ability to help him. He knew that the same way Hashem put him there, He could also take him out. So too by the Maccabees, they didn't lose faith in Hashem. They still davened and fulfilled mitzvos in private. They did not rationalize to excuse themselves from keeping mitzvos.

Kavei El Hashem, Chazak Viya'ametz Li'becha - Have hope in Hashem, He shall strengthen your heart.

Thanks for reading,

Nisso

[1] Me'ayin Beis Sho'aiva

[2] Midrash HaGadol 41:39

[3] Midrash HaGadol 40:1

Parashas Vayeishev

Parashas Vayeishev speaks about how Yaakov favored Yosef over his other sons. He even made Yosef a special garment with many beautiful colors, which led Yosef's brothers to hate him.

Yosef had a couple of dreams which made his brothers hate him even more. First dream: Yosef and his brothers were in the field binding sheaves, and all their sheaves surrounded Yosef's sheaf, and prostrated to it. Second dream: The sun, the moon, and all eleven stars prostrated themselves in front of Yosef. His father rebuked him asking, "What's this dream you had? Shall I, your mother, and your brothers come to bow down to you?"

Yaakov sent Yosef to Shechem, where the brothers were pasturing the sheep, to inquire about them. He asked someone along the way if they had passed his brothers, and this person said he over heard them say they were going to Doson. On his way to Doson, the brothers saw him from a distance, and plotted to kill him. Reuvain (the oldest) tried refraining his other brothers from killing Yosef. He suggested they throw him into a pit, intending to rescue him later.

When Yosef reached his brothers, they stripped him of his colorful garment and threw him into a pit. They had just sat down to eat, when they saw a Yishmaelite caravan, on its way down to Egypt. Yehuda suggested selling Yosef instead of killing him. After the sale transaction, they dipped his garment into goat's blood and brought it back to Yaakov, who concluded that Yosef had been devoured by beasts and torn into pieces.

Yosef was brought down to Egypt, and sold to an officer of Pharaoh - Potifar, the chief executioner of Egypt. Yosef found favor in his eyes because of his honesty and dedication to work. Potiphar saw something in Yosef which he didn't see in his other slaves. Yosef didn't steal or lie - rather, he caused his master's possession to increase. [1] Yosef went from serving Potiphar, to handling all his keys and withholding nothing from him except his own wife. [2]

While Yosef was sitting comfortably in Potiphar's house, Rashi explains he was eating, drinking, and curling his hair, Hashem said, "Your father is in mourning, and you curl your hair! I will bring out a bear against you." [3] Immediately after that, Potiphar's wife set her eyes upon him. (I can't imagine what she must of looked like, just kidding) She tried everything possible to seduce him, but he would not pay any attention to her. There was a day where nobody was around the house, except for Yosef. She decided then, she would make her move. She grabbed him by his garment, saying, "Be with me." He fled, leaving his garment in her hands. She was nervous that Yosef would tell Potiphar what had happened, so she quickly ran to the men of her household, claiming that Yosef had just tried seducing her, and that he fled once she cried out in a loud voice, leaving his garment in her hands.

The Torah says that she spoke to her husband (Potiphar) telling him, "The Hebrew slave came to me, the same one you brought into our home, to mock me. When I raised my voice and cried out, he fled outside." Potiphar became furious, says the posuk. He wanted to kill Yosef, but was convinced otherwise and sent him to jail instead. This line got me thinking, "Potiphar became furious with Yosef? He favored Yosef, trusting him with his possessions, and now within seconds can totally feel the opposite reaction? Only because his wife said something, before even confirming if it was accurate?!

The Chofetz Chaim says, "Many people tell their family members (specifically husbands and wives) all the bad things people did to them in yeshiva, or at work. The spouses ask each other how their day went, and feel the need to tell them even the negative things that happened. Not only is it a big sin, but it will also cause fighting between the two families. Spouses won't come to confirm the information. They will be on their husband/wife's side out of loyalty to one another, and will believe the statement automatically."[4]

A lesson learned from this week's parasha is, if there was someone who offended you, and your spouse, brother, sister - or any other family member for that matter - asks how your day was, try not to mention the negative things. Attempt to speak around the question (even if it's beneficial information). As we see by Potiphar, he really liked Yosef and trusted him 100%, but that all changed only because his wife spoke bad of him. One must realize that no matter what the situation is, family comes first; therefore, out of loyalty they will come to believe the statements before confirming anything else. The same applies to the one asking the question. Don't be a 'Potiphar;' who jumps to conclusions without first making sure the information was correct. There are two sides to every story.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

[1] Bereshis Raba 86:3

[2] Bereshis Raba 86:7

[3] Bereshis 39:6

[4] Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchos Lashon Hara, 8:10

Parashas Vayishlach

In last week's Parasha (Vayeitzei), the sons of Lavan told their father that Yaakov had taken all that belonged to him - his flocks and family etc... After accepting this false statement, Lavan no longer looked at Yaakov the same way. Yaakov noticed this change in Lavan, and told Rachel and Leah, in secret, that it was time to go.

This week's Parasha starts off with Yaakov and his family on their journey home, to Yaakovs family. Yaakov sent messengers to Eisav to tell him he was back and wished to live in peace with him. Yaakov gave them detailed instructions on how to deal with Eisav. "Humble yourselves before him. Call him, 'My master.' However, make sure he knows our position. Tell him in my name, 'I have lived with Lavan, the master of all magicians and swindlers, but I overcame him. Despite living in Lavan's house, I fulfilled all 613 mitzvos. I have acquired oxen, donkeys, sheep, servants and maidservants.' Yaakov was telling Eisav that if he wants peace, then Yaakov is ready for peace; but if it is war he seeks, Yaakov is ready for that as well. The messengers went to do as they were told, but later came back with discouraging news. "Eisav is coming out to meet you with four hundred men." [1]

The posuk says, "Yaakov was very frightened and distressed." How can it be Yaakov was scared? Scared of what? Doesn't he have Hashem protecting him? Additionally, he had just sent messengers to Eisav saying he was 'ready for war'- what was that all about? He seemed pretty confident then, what happened now?? There are LOTS of explanations for this. Rashi says, "He feared the possibility he might get killed, and was distressed that he might have to kill others." [2] The Toldos Yitzchak says, "Yaakov was afraid because he remembered Eisav mentioning many years back that he was going to kill him when Yitzchak (their father) dies. Yaakov thought for sure he was an avel (a mourner).

Another possible answer: There is a special mitzva of Kibud Av V'Em (honoring one's parents) which prolongs one's life (as mentioned in the Torah). [3] Yaakov wasn't in the same home town as his father, and Eisav was. Yaakov was worried, "I didn't fulfilled the mitzvah of Kibud Av V'em as much as Eisav did." The Ramban explains that the mitzvah of kibud av v'em was only fulfilled once Yaakov went to Lavan's house, as he was instructed by his parents. [Rivka instructed Yaakov to flee from his brother's rage; and Yitzchak instructed him to find a wife in Lavan's household.] However, instead of going straight to Lavan's house, he went to yeshiva. For the fourteen years he was learning in yeshiva, he didn't have the chance to honor his parents. Therefore, Eisav may have done more kibud av v'em than Yaakov. Maybe this explains why Yaakov was afraid he would die - he might not have merited a prolonged life like Eisav did.

An additional explanation as to why Yaakov was afraid: Yaakov knew that if any member of his camp had sinned, Hashem would not come to his assistance. [4] This is a very fundamental lesson. The Rambam says, "Everyone should see themselves throughout the year as if they have the same amount of sins and mitzvos (merits), which also has an influence on the whole world. One should think, 'If I sin, then the whole world is judged harshly, but if I do a mitzva, then the whole world is judged favorably because of me.' [5] This gives a person a tremendous responsibility to the world.

A parable can explain this concept better: A child is a parent's responsibility. Every action the parent makes has an effect on the child. A simple example is; leaving a sharp knife on the table, or medication where the child can reach it. The outcome can be deadly.

A lesson we can learn by Yaakov being "afraid," is that a person must always think, "the whole world is depending on me. Every occurance is dependent on my actions. Suppose I do something wrong, what will happen to my family or friend? Do I really want to take that risk?"

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

[1] Bereshis Rabba 75:6
[2] Rashi 32:8
[3] Shmos 20:12
[4] Bereshis Rabba 76:2

[5] Hilchos Tshuva 3:4

Parashas Vayeitzei

Last week we spoke about Eisav being furious with Yaakov for getting his brachos (blessings). After that episode, Rivka told Yaakov to run away because Eisav wanted to kill him. She instructed him to go to Lavan, her brother, who lived in Charan. There he would meet Rachel, his soul mate, the daughter of Lavan.

When Yaakov saw Rachel, he immediately fell in "love" with her, knowing she was the one he wanted to spend his whole life with. He told her the reason for him coming to Lavan. She warned him that Lavan was a swindler, and would try marrying off Leah first, before allowing him to marry Rachel. Yaakov wasn't worried. He instructed Rachel what to answer if he asked her different questions, a sign of knowing who was really under the veil. [1]

Lavan came out to greet Yaakov, who was known to come from a wealthy family. Lavan wasn't interested in him, he was interested in his money. To Yaakov's dismay, he arrived empty handed. He felt bad because when Eliezer (the slave of Avraham) had come to the house of Besuel (the father of Lavan) to find a marriage partner for Yitzchak, he came with camels loaded with gifts. Lavan thought, it can't be that Yaakov came empty handed. He is probably hiding some pearls in his mouth. He gave Yaakov a BIG kiss, hoping to find some type of jewelry, but his mouth was empty. [2]

Yaakov told Lavan the purpose of his arrival; to get married. Therefore, he is willing to work for him for seven years, in exchange for Rachel. Those years passed in a flash. When people have a goal, and are willing to do whatever they can for it, they have an inner enthusiasm. When a person does something with enthusiasm, and enjoys what they are doing, time flies. This seems to be what the Torah means by, "They seemed to him like a few days." [3]

When it was time to marry "Rachel", all the people of Charan were invited to the wedding. The next part was a big shocker. Definitely a lesson we can take, but not what I want to address in this week's dvar Torah. Rachel didn't want her sister to get embarrassed in front of the whole neighborhood, and so she gave over the signs to Leah, so that Yaakov will think it was really Rachel. That was an incredible sacrifice Rachel made. [4]

The next morning after finding out what Lavan had done to Yaakov, he approached Lavan asking, "I have worked for you honestly and respectfully to marry your daughter Rachel, why did you deceive me?" Lavan replied back, "It's not our custom to marry off the younger daughter before the older one, however, I am willing to give you Rachel for another seven years worth of work." Yaakov agreed. He worked for Lavan with the same enthusiasm as he did in the beginning. He started off strong and on-time, and followed with the same enthusiasm until the end, with no slacking off. His last years were performed with the same dedication and vigor as his first years. [5]

A lesson I want to share with you is; when people set goals for themselves, they should stick to it. Sometimes people think to themselves, "I can't believe I told my self I was going to finish this masechta (tractate) - it's so long!" or "I'm going to help my spouse every day cleaning, or cooking." At first they think it's an amazing idea, and they do it with enthusiasm. Unfortunately that fire they had to learn or help, dies down shortly, until it turns into little spark. They rationalize to themselves, "I had more time then, it was easier to work towards my goal, but now I have other important things to do." That can be true, but to what extent? Yaakov knew the concept of, "When there's a will, there's a way." He lived by it. His goal was to marry Rachel, and he was willing to work fourteen years for it. He didn't rationalize saying, "It's so hard working for a thief, always thinking what other way will I be deceived again." He didn't let anything stop him. He kept the flame going, refraining it from dying down into a spark, which would eventually be extinguished.


Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso



[1] Magilla 13b
[2] Bereshis Rabba 70:13
[3] Bereshis 29:20
[4] Baba Basra 123
[5] Bereshis Rabba 70:18