Parashas Vayeishev - What's With All The Emotions?

Here's a short time-line of the beginning of Parashas Vayeishev; the first aliyah:

1. Yosef brought back bad reports about his brothers (to his father.)
2. Yaakov loved Yosef more than any of his sons.
3. Yaakov made Yosef a colorful garment.
4. Yosef's brothers saw their father loved him more than the other sons.
5. And they hated him.
6. They could not speak to him peaceably.
7. Yosef had a dream and he told his brothers he had a dream.
8. And they hated him even more.
9. He told them the dream.
10. They hated him even more because of his dreams and his words.
11. He had another dream.
12. He told it to his father and his brothers.
13. His father 'rebuked' him.
14. His brothers were jealous of him.

I've got several questions on this setup.

1. If the brothers saw that their father favored Yosef, why would they hate [step 5] him? Isn't it more accurate to say they were jealous of him?
2. Why did it say [step 8] they hated Yosef after he told his brothers he had a dream, but before he actually told them what the dream was?
3. After his father rebuked him [step 13 - after the 2^nd dream,] it says his brothers were jealous of him. Isn't it more accurate to say they were happy or relieved? Yaakov just put his favorite son 'in his place' – why would the posuk say they were jealous of Yosef after that?

I think the answer is:

1. His brothers didn't hate Yosef for having been favored more than the rest. Yes, they probably felt hurt, but that emotion would be best defined as jealousy. So then why did it say they hated him [in step 5?] Perhaps it said they hated him in regards to step 6. Since they felt ill-will towards him, they could not speak to him in a peaceful manner. Doing that would mean they are two-facing him (loving him outwardly, but hating him in their hearts,) which the Torah commands us not to do.
2. They didn't want to hear the details of his dreams because [step 10] the Torah mentioned they hated his words. Anything he said they hated. It's inferred that they didn't want to hear him talk, therefore, they didn't need to hear the details of his dream to hate him.
3. When the Torah said they were jealous of him [step 14] right after their father 'put him in his place' wasn't because Yosef was put in his place. The Torah mentions they were jealous of him because they were jealous! The last emotion (jealousy) was going on the whole picture – not the individual steps.

There are many questions in these types of Parashas. Sometimes better questions than answers. I hope I helped answer a few.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

Parashas Vayishlach - Protection Comes Through Torah and Mitzvos

In the beginning of the Parasha, Yaakov sent messengers to Eisav to tell him, “I lived by Lavan and was delayed until now.” Rashi commented that “Lived – Garti” is the gematria of 613, connoting that Yaakov lived with the wicked Lavan for 21 years and kept all 613 mitzvos. Nor did he learn from Lavan's wicked ways. [32:5]

The message Yaakov sent Eisav was implying that Eisav should abandon his plans to destroy him [since Yitzchak's blessing to Eisav was that he would only have power over Yaakov in the event that Yaakov would transgress the commandments.]

In Parashas Toldos [27:40,] when Eisav wept over the blessing Yaakov 'stole' [in reality, Yaakov bought the rights to Eisav's firstborn blessings,] Yitzchak reassured Eisav, “When you have been caused grief, you will throw off his yoke from your neck.” Rashi explains there, “When the Jews will transgress the Torah, and you will have a reason to grieve over the blessings which he took [since he'll feel they are not deserving of the blessings,] then you will throw off his yoke from your neck.”

It's interesting to note that Rashi says, “When the Jews will transgress” (and not, “When Yaakov will transgress.”) Why did Yaakov send a message implying, “I have kept all 613 mitzvos while living with the wicked Lavan?” What about 'the other Jews' - his children? Did they keep all 613 mitzvos?

When the messengers came back saying that Eisav was still upset and coming to meet him, Yaakov got “frightened and distressed. He then divided his camp into two.” If he kept all 613 mitzvos, then there's no reason for him to fear, right? Unless, what he feared was that perhaps his children might have sinned and therefore Eisav might have the upper hand.

Kol Yisroel Areivim Zeh LaZeh – All Jews Are Guarantors For One Another. If one Jew sins, we're all responsible. Whatever current events are going on in the world are pretty scary. We have many enemies who want to destroy us! The only way we'll win is by keeping Hashem's Torah and Mitzvos. Granted, there are many non-religious Jews who don't keep the Torah and Mitzvos, but we've got to start somewhere. We should work on ourselves first and daven that Hashem will protect us all. Hopefully our Torah and Mitzvos will influence others to follow in Hashem's ways.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

Parashas Vayeitzei

I am sorry for not sending out dvar torahs last week. Schedule was pretty hectic.

Thanks,
Nisso

Parashas Toldos - Who's Really Yitzchok's Father??

There was a couple who were not able to have kids for years. After 10 years they felt it was time to get tested to see what (or who) was the problem. When the man got tested, it turned out he was fine and through process of elimination, they were able to deduce that it was the wife who was not able to bear kids.

In this week's parasha, the posuk says, “These are the descendants of Yitzchok, the son of Avraham. Avraham was the father of Yitzchok.”

Why the redundancy?

Rashi gives the explanation: It was necessary to say it twice because scoffers of that generation were saying that Sarah conceived by Avimelech, since she lived with Avraham many years and did not conceive by him. So Hashem made Yitzchok's face to look like Avraham's so that everyone would testify that Avraham was the father of Yitzchok.

I've got two questions:

1. What could the scoffers possibly say about Avraham? He had a son with Hagar – Yishmael! Clearly Avrohom was able to have children!
2. If Yitzchok resembled Avraham, then what were the scoffers' claims to begin with? Why would they think Yizchok wasn't the son of Avraham? Father and Son look like each other!

Unfortunately, I was only able to think of an answer to question number two. I remember learning a Gemara in Brachos [20a] which says that Rav Yochanan would sit at the gates of the Women's mikvah. He said, “When women come to the mikvah, they will see me and their seeds [kids] will be as good as I am.”

Rashi in Baba Matziah [87a] says Rav Yochanan was very good looking.

I can infer from the words, “they will see me and their seeds [kids] will be as good as I am,” isn't necessarily talking about physical appearance. It can also mean in kedusha, middos, mitzvos, etc. However, there is a possibility it may also mean physical appearance. I once read (I think in Sefer Chasidim) that if a lady thought or looked at an image of someone else at the time of conception, then her kids will turn out to look like that image.

This can answer my second question; even though Yitzchok looked like Avraham, that doesn't have to mean he is his son. The scoffers could have thought, “Perhaps while Sarah was with Avimelech, she thought of her husband!” Therefore, this may answer why the posuk mentioned Yitzchok ben Avraham twice; to make a point that Yitzchok really was Avraham's son.

If you have an answer to my first question, please email me! I would love to hear it.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

SharingTorah@gmail.com

Parashas Chayei Sarah - My Body is Holy!

In this week's Parasha [24:2 & 3] Avraham says to his servant of his household, who was in charge of everything he owned, “Place your hand under my thigh. I will have you swear by Hashem, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I live.”

Rashi says, “Since one who takes an oath is required to hold a sacred object in his hand, for example, a Sefer Torah or Tefillin; a circumcision was his first mitzvah. It came to him through pain and was therefore dear to him.”

According to Rashi, “under his thigh” means his Milah (his servant placed his hand on Avraham's private part.)

The area Avraham made his servant swear on is a bit unusual, isn't it? It says, “a circumcision was his first mitzvah,” which infers that there were other mitzvahs. So why did Avraham chose his Milah? He was also commanded to do Akeidas Yitzchak! Why didn't he put his hand on Yitzchak's head? (The Gur Aryeh says Avraham owned a pair of Tefillin. And the Gemara in Shavuos 38b says it's actually better to swear on tefillin since it says Hashem's name.) Why not use those? Why use himself?

Rashi answers because the mitzvah of Milah came to him though pain and therefore it was dear to him.

Wasn't it painful for him to give over his only son as a sacrifice? Granted, Avraham did Hashem's will with happiness and love, but it was no easy test! I can't imagine it wasn't painful! So, why did Avraham use himself for the shavua?

I believe one approach is: Sometimes, it's hard for us to realize our accomplishments or our value. Avraham could have chosen tefillin or his son, but he chose himself. He understood the value of himself and his body. A person can use their body for different purposes. Unfortunately, some people use it to tattoo words and images or pierce metal objects onto their skin. Avraham used it to get close to Hashem and Kedusha.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

Parashas Vayera - Be Careful About What We Bring Into Our Homes

When my close friend and I started becoming religious, we realized something: The more we became religious, the more our 'friends count' decreased. What I mean is that we were having less and less friends. They all wanted to go to the movies, mall, billiards, etc, but we couldn't without desecrating Shabbos.

We brainstormed a way to show our friends that one's able to keep Shabbos and have a good time doing it too. We asked our parents for $10.00 (to buy a bunch of snacks) to host a Shabbos party - every week. The two basic rules were: You may not break anything(!!!!), and you must respect our religious standards, [ie: leave your beepers (remember that gadget?) and cellphones on silent and girls should wear long skirts.] If they needed to make a phone call, they had to do it outside. We wanted to keep our home - environment - Shabbosdik.

To our surprise, a lot of friends respected our rules and every week more friends got interested in 'checking out' the Shabbos party. Baruch Hashem, we can proudly say, we were mekarev a few of our friends, who are now living Torah lives.

It's very important to be careful with what one should bring into their home. There has to be rules and boundaries.

We see this by Avraham avinu in this week's parasha. Avraham saw travelers and asked them to be his guests. The posuk [18:4] says, “He (Avraham) said: My master, If I have found favor in your eyes, please do not bypass your servant. Let a bit of water be brought and wash your feet.”

Rashi says, “Avraham thought they were Arabs who worshiped the dust of their feet. He was particular not to allow any object of idolatry into his house. As opposed to Lot [19:2] who invited the 'guest' to lodge before asking them to wash, “Stay overnight, bathe your feet.””

Avraham was very careful with what he brought into his home. At times, it's uncomfortable to ask the guest to abide by your rules, but the importance of what comes into your home should override the feelings of discomfort.

Of course, it all depends on the situation. One should consult a Rav if they are in doubt as to what's allowed and what is not. I want to note that we were not very religious. At the time, we just started learning more about Jewish Law, therefore our 'standards' weren't up to par with what the Torah required of us (therefore, we shouldn't have allowed our friends to even bring their beepers etc). The more we became religious, the more we took upon ourselves and learned more halachos.

May we be zocheh to bring bracha into our homes.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

Parashas Lech Lecha - Who Hates Gifts? Avram Did!

In this week's Parasha, Hashem commands Avram, “Go from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house, to the land I will show you.” A little before the second aliya, it says that Avram traveled to Egypt to live there (temporarily) since there was a famine in the place he was staying.

Before he entered Egypt, Avram told Sarai, “[Because of your beauty,] say you're my sister so that it will go well for my sake, and my life will be spared because of you.”

Rashi explains, “...so that it will go well for my sake,” means “so that they will give me gifts.”

I thought it's pretty strange that Avram would anticipate receiving gifts because (a) Avram was very wealthy and (b) because it says in Mishlei, [15:27] “One who hates gifts will live [a long life.]”

[The Rambam [hilchos zchia u'matana 12:17] brings in this halacha and the Magid Mishna comments, “Someone wise should feel he has everything he needs and that everything he has is enough; he shouldn't ask for more.” The Shulchan Aruch [hilchos matana, siman 249:5] says, “It's a commendable trait to not receive gifts, rather one should have faith in Hashem that He will give him everything he needs.” The Meiras Enayim says that a person who likes receiving gifts will have to flatter those who shouldn't be flattered and won't reproof those who do bad things.]

Avram was worried the Egyptians would kill him; so he told Sarai to say she's his sister, so that the Egyptians will shower him with gifts – which, according to Mishlei, is something which shortens life. It's a bit contradicting, isn't it?

The Kli Yaker on this posuk answers that although Avram took the gifts, he used none of it for himself! He saved it and then gave them all to the Bnei Pilagshim (as we see in Parashas Chayei Sara 25:6) who were the children of Hagar Hamitzris, an Egyptian princess who was sent along with Avram as a maidservant. [Since it's better to be a maidservant in the house of Avram than to be a princess in the house of Pharo.

May we all live ad me'ah v'esrim shana – a long life filled with happiness and health! (The only gift we need.)

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso