Parashas Ki Seitzei - But I Didn't Mean to Hurt You...

Scenario 1: (actively hurting someone) Yankel #1 went to the store to buy a pack of dollar gum. He gave the shop owner $20 but realized later he only got back $18 in change. For those who majored in Mathematics (or who've gone to first grade,) they know Yankel should have gotten back $19. Yankel always suspected the shop owner of being a dishonest guy, so... "The next time I go to the store, I'll just take two extra packs of gum. If he's not honest with me, I won't be honest with him!" he says.

Scenario 2: (passively hurting someone) Yankel #2 loved to dance. When he went to weddings, he'd always 'break out his moves'. Being so engrossed in his dancing, he'd accidentally hit someone in the face. "Oh, I am SO sorry! It was an accident - I didn't see you! Don't worry, your kallah will never realize the discoloration on your face... I am so sorry, mazal tov though! Again, I am so sorry!" he'd exclaim.

Scenario 3: (passively hurting someone by means of his property) Yankel #3 loves to ride his skateboard. The problem is, when he gets back after skateboarding all afternoon, he's so exhausted he leaves the skateboard wherever it is most convenient. Meanwhile, his brother comes home carrying a load of boxes, unable to see the skateboard, he steps on it and falls. He yells at Yankel about how negligent that was and Yankle replies, "Listen, I'm sorry you got hurt but obviously you were supposed to get hurt. That was Hashem's plan. I was just the shliach! Don't kill the messenger."

The third aliya in Parashas Ki Seitzei starts off by saying: When you build a new house, you should build a fence for your roof. And do not place blood (ie. Become responsible for others' blood) in your house, for someone who should fall, may fall from it. Rashi explains: The guy who falls deserves to fall, but even so, let his death not come about through you.

I thought this Rashi is amazing! Above I mentioned three scenarios scaling from severe to not: (a) Actively hurting someone, (b) passively hurting someone, and (c) passively hurting someone by means of his property. Rashi's teaching us that there's 'passively hurting someone by means of your property', (which some people would understand isn't so much different than walking by a couch and stubbing your toe,) and then there's an action you can take to preempt passively hurting someone by means of your property. If you're intentionally hurting someone, which the Torah specifically warns us not to do in Parashas Kedoshim, “Don't bear a grudge and don't take revenge,” then it's even worse.

We are amidst Elul - a time to work on ourselves and do teshuva. I felt it was appropriate to suggest, in honor of this week's Parasha, that we have extra kavanas during Hamapil in Shema baMita. We mention every night, "I forgive anyone who angered or sinned against me, whether against my honor or anything that's mine. Whether he did it accidentally, willfully, carelessly, purposely, through speech, actions, or thoughts... I forgive all of Bnei Yisroel and may they not be punished because of me..."

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso