Parashas Vayechi - Fighting Our Yeitzer Hara

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In Parashas Vayechi, Yaakov was on his death bed. As the time drew closer, Yaakov called for Yosef and requested that his body be buried - with his father Yitzchak and grandfather Avraham - in Ma'aras Hamachpeila.

Yaakov specifically did not want to be buried in Egypt for several reasons:

• It's soil will ultimately become lice.
• The dead who are buried outside Eretz Yisroel will be resurrected only by suffering the pain of rolling through underground tunnels.
• So that the Egyptians didn't turn his body into something they worship. [1]

Yaakov felt so strong about these reasons, he made Yosef swear to him that he would fulfill his wishes. Yosef agreed and then Yisroel (Yaakov) prostrated himself at the head of the bed.

Rashi gives two reasons for Yaakov's prostration:

1. Hashem's Shechina was there. (From here we see that Hashem's Shechina hovers above the sick person's head.
2. He was glad that his bed was complete (perfect): none of his offspring were wicked. Specifically, Yosef, who was loyal to Hashem as a slave, was held captive among other nations, and became a king, yet still conquered his Yeitzer Hara and remained a Tzaddik. [2]

The second reason Rashi gave blows me away. Yaakov was really old and literally on his death bed - yet he still prostrated himself because of the honor he showed for Yosef's success in fighting off the Yeitzer Hara!

Yosef was (a) hated by his brothers, (b) thrown into a pit with dangerous creatures, (c) sold to Arabs, (d) a slave, (e) seduced by Potifar's wife but fought it out and won, (f) thrown into jail, etc...

He was put through so many tests. He could have been angry at Hashem for having make him go through all those experiences, and instead, Yosef fought the battle until he won!

Things like this happen in our daily lives; whether it's someone who has a stealing issue, shmiras enayiim issue, low self esteem issue, etc... These are all things that can be conquered. Hashem doesn't throw at us tests which we can not pass. He has 100% confidence in us that we can conquer the Yeitzer Hara, otherwise we wouldn't be put in these tests to begin with.

Praiseworthy is one who fights his battles and wins. We see from Yaakov how honorable it is for someone to fight his battles (whatever they may be) and succeed. He put in the extra effort to 'salute' Yosef's victory even in a time of weakness and frail.

Fighting the best we can, showing Hashem that we are His true soldiers and His servants is looked highly upon.

May we all live up to Hashem's high expectations of passing all His tests!

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] Bereishis Rabba 96:5
[2] 47:31

Parashas Vayigash - Keeping a Safe Container

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Last shabbos, I went on a seminar called, 'Call of the Shofar'. It was a very nice shabbos. A lot of inspiration, learning, and connecting. "The organization creates and facilitates 'powerful, transformational experiences which combine ancient truths of Judaism, modern psychological knowledge and unique experiential processes.' The system combines; A clear understanding of principles that lead to personal wellbeing and relational health, safe opportunities to deepen individual awareness and ongoing communal support."[1]

It's the type of seminar where anyone could gain by going. Whether it's a person who wants to understand more about the Torah views on life, one who has an issue from his past and needs to deal with it, or even one who is looking to get trained on coaching other people. I would recommend it to anyone.

Over that weekend, I felt as if I was able to speak my mind without having to worry whether I wouldn't be accepted, would be mocked, or embarrassed. We were all able to be authentic. It was only because we turned the environment into our own 'safe container'. Some people shared pretty personal stories with the group and others even cried. After the weekend, we all felt a strong connection to each other because we'd opened up and went to great lengths not to cause other people embarrassment.

In Parashas Vayigash, Yehuda had a 'talk' with Yosef for keeping Binyamin, their youngest brother, hostage. The Midrash says Yehuda was furious! Some say his eyes were dripping with blood, while others say he would grind iron bars with his teeth; and others say he tossed a huge heavy stone in the air, caught it, and crushed it with his feet. [2] Yaakov said earlier, "If I lose Binyamin too, it will be as if I lost my wife Rachel, my sons Yosef, and Binyamin all on the same day!" This shows you how important it was for Binyamin to come back home with the brothers and Yehuda was willing to do everything in his power to bring Binyamin back.[3]

Yehuda asked Naftali to count the amount of districts there were in the capitol of Egypt. Naftali quickly returned saying twelve. Yehuda said he would wipe out three, and the rest of the brothers will each take one. "We will make sure that not one person will remain alive," he said.[4]

Yosef knew that he could not wait any longer. He must reveal himself to his brothers, otherwise they would destroy the whole city.[4]

The posuk says, "Yosef could not contain his emotions in the presence of all who stood before him. And he cried out, 'let everyone leave my presence.' No man remained with him, when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers."

An insight I want to share: Yosef also wanted to create a safe container. A place where he could share personal information with his brothers. Rashi comments that Yosef couldn't bear the fact that the Egyptians standing by him would be listening to what he had to tell his brothers, which would ultimately humiliate them. So he ordered the Egyptians to leave, so that the room (container) would remain safe.

Yosef tried protecting his brothers from humiliation, just like everyone over the weekend tried protecting one another by keeping the container safe and comfortable.

A special thank you to those who experienced last shabbos with me, and thanks to all my subscribers for reading.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] For more info, visit: www.CalloftheShofar.org
[1] Bereishis Rabba 93:7
[2] Taken from The Midrash Says
[3] Bereishis Rabba 93:8

Parashas Miketz - No point in being Arrogant.

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Note: I apologize, I had NO time to proofread this week. Bare with the mistakes. - Thanks!

At the end of last week's parasha, Yosef was innocently thrown into jail. Rooming with him was Pharoh's baker and butler. They were both bothered because of a dream they each had. They asked Yosef to interpret it. Without going into details, Yosef's interpretation was accurate and fulfilled. To the butler he said he would live and remain Pharoh's butler, but to the baker he said he'd die. Yosef told the butler, "Remember me and mention me," for which Hashem punished Yosef with extra prison time.

For two years, Pharoh had very disturbing dreams. He couldn't remember the dreams until the day of Yosef's release. He asked all his men (astrologers, magicians, the wise, etc...) to interpret the dream, but Pharoh dismissed all interpretations.

The butler sent Pharoh a message saying,"Once, the Pharoh became very angry with me and the baker. We were thrown into jail, and one night, we both had dreams which neither of us understood. There was, however, one man in prison with us who interpreted it correctly. He was a young, Hebrew slave. Whichever way he interpreted our dream, it came true."[1]

Rashi explains, the reason the butler told Pharoh that Yosef was a "young, Hebrew slave" was because he was afraid Yosef would of been given the opportunity of high position by Pharoh. His implication of 'young' meant Yosef was a fool so he couldn't become ruler - 'Hebrew' meaning he didn't even speak the language of Pharoh so there's no reason to be ruler - and 'slave' implying he could never become ruler or dress in princely clothing because of Egyptian rules.

Why did the butler say these things? As mentioned above, he was afraid that Yosef would become ruler - so it was jealously?

Unfortunately, things like this happen all the time. A common example: You're good at your job and you're about to get promoted to a higher position. Suddenly, a co-worker overhears the news and begins to fret. It happens to be, this co-worker has been waiting for the same promotion. He figures, best thing to do is mention the negative trait of his competitor, more than the positive, hoping his boss would reconsider.

The Chofetz Chaim says that one who speaks lashon hara in a conceited way violates the commandment, "Be careful lest you forget Hashem your G-d." [2] This commandment prohibits us from acting arrogantly. If the speaker of lashon hara raises his own stature in people's eyes by degrading his victim, his offense is even more severe.

May we only see and speak of the good in other people. There's no point in trying to degrade someone else. The butler tried, hoping Yosef wouldn't get high authority, instead Yosef got it anyway.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] Bereshis Rabba 89:10
[2] Sefer Chofetz Chaim - Hakdama; Mitzvos Lo Tasei's - #5

Parashas Vayeishev - Being a Two-Face

This week's parasha is a biggie. There's a lot of information with a lot of questions. Without knowing much about Yosef, we could question, "Who is this man that's known as 'Yosef Hatzaddik'?"

Why question his title in the first place? Well, in this week's parasha, the Torah teaches us that Yosef would bring back bad reports about his brothers to his father, Yaakov. [Is that the way a Tzaddik deals with situations? Was it for toeles (beneficial) reasons? The Chofetz Chaim speaks about approaching the 'evil-doers' first. Was Yosef so sure his brothers wouldn't take his rebuke?]

Next, Yosef goes to his brothers (then father) and tells them the dreams he had. "We were binding sheaves, while my sheaf stood up straight, and yours prostrated themselves to mine..." "...Another dream I had, the Sun, Moon, and eleven Stars were prostrating themselves to me." [What was Yosef thinking when telling over his dreams? Was he bragging? Was he trying to tell his brothers how much better he was than them?]

The Torah tells us that Yosef's brothers hated him. It's one thing to hate a person without taking any actions, but the next part in the Parasha is Yosef's sale. His brothers tried to get rid of him, and sold him to Arabs. I think the hatred they had for him wasn't so diluted.

Some might start to question, "Who are these brothers?! They are supposed to be our shevatim?" And what about Yaakov, their father? Was it proper chinuch to treat Yosef better than the other brothers? The posuk tells us, "Yaakov loved Yosef more than any of his sons."

The answers aren't the point to my Dvar Torah which is why they aren't answered here. The truth of the matter is, we can NOT have ANY questions on Yaakov, nor his sons. They calculated every single thing they took action for.

One thing got my attention is: Rashi explains the posuk: "The brothers hated Yosef and could not speak to him peaceably," and says, "From their denigration, we learn how praise-worthy they are, because they did not speak one thing with their mouth while thinking another thing in their hearts."[1]

In other words, the brothers were not 'two-faced'. The Chofetz Chaim [2] speaks about the sin of being 'two-faced', which means outwardly smiling while inwardly feeling hateful. He says: Acting friendly in someone's presence while feeling hatred in one's heart can lead to disasters in human relations. The Torah teaches us [3], "You shall not hate your brother in your heart."

With the above said, you see that Rashi still 'praised' the brothers for not outwardly smiling while inwardly hating. I don't recommend emulating the brothers and speaking out your
negative thoughts to those you hate. I think this is something we can learn from!

On one hand, it's praise-worthy to refrain from being a two-faced individual; on the other hand, there is an issur deh'o'raisa to hate your brother in your heart. The best thing to do is to try and work out the reasons behind your anger and hatred for that person. If there's something bothering you, it helps to speak it out, and try to understand the reasons behind his/her wrong-doings.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] Rashi 37:4

[2] Sefer Chofetz Chaim - in the Hak'dama: Mitzvos Lo' Ta'asei 7-9
[3] Vayikra 19:17

Parashas Vayishlach - Honoring Parents

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In this week's parasha, Yaakov sent messengers to Aisav to tell him he was back and wanted to make peace with him. They were given specific instructions on how to approach Aisav - they were told what to say and how to say it. "I have lived with Lavan and survived. I acquired oxen, donkeys, sheep, servants, and maids..." Yaakov instructed them to say.

Rashi explains this to mean: I have resided with the wicked Lavan and still kept 613 mitzvos - ['Garti' in the pasuk has the gematria value of 613]. [1]

The next posukim say: "The messengers returned to Yaakov saying... 'Aisav is coming to meet you with four hundred men.' Yaakov was very frightened and distressed." Rashi says, "He feared he might be killed and was distressed that he might kill others."

Question: Didn't Yaakov just send a message to Aisav saying he kept 613 mitzvos?!! For what reason was he 'frightened'?! Hashem protects a person who keeps His Torah and Mitzvos.

Another question I have: How is it Rashi explains that Yaakov kept 613 mitzvos, when Rashi in the next parasha says: Yaakov heard his son Yosef was eaten by wild animals, and tore his clothing, mourning for many days. "Yaakov did not fulfill kibbud av v'em for twenty years while he was at Lavan's house and two years while he was traveling back from Lavan's house, etc..." [2]

Yaakov feared that Aisav had more merit because he had honored his father all the years Yaakov was by Lavan, thereby giving Aisav success in war. [3] The Torah says one who fulfills the mitzvah of Kibud Av v'Em, prolongs his life. That was Yaakov's calculation.

If you think about it, Yaakov also fulfilled the mitzvah of Kibbud Av v'Em because Rivka instructed him to run away - to her family's house - where Aisav wouldn't think of searching for him there. So in reality, Yaakov did keep the mitzvah of Kibbud Av v'Em. That raises the same question: What was his 'fear' all about? He has the zchus of honoring his parents as well! If that's the case, then why did Rashi in the next Parasha say he did not fulfill Kibbud Av v'Em all the time he was living by Lavan?

I believe the answer is: Let's say, both Yaakov and Aisav fulfilled the mitzvah of honoring parents. Who was there to fulfill it more? Aisav was! Any time Yitzchak needed something, he was able to ask Aisav for it. He already had over twenty years worth the merit Yaakov did. That explains why Yaakov feared that Aisav would win.

I still don't have an answer for Rashi in the next Parasha. I only thought about this question this afternoon, so I didn't have time to look into it. If you have an answer, please email me. [By the way, I am sorry for this "quick, it's Thursday and you don't have a Dvar Torah" dvar Torah. I didn't have time to structure it better.]

We see the importance of Kibbud Av v'Em. It's not a simple commandment. Yaakov, our father (a huge tzaddik), who had faith in Hashem and wasn't scared of anything because he trusted in Him - was frightened because of the 'lack of kibbud av v'em' he might have had.

May we be zocheh to fulfill all 613 mitvos, whether in a good environment or bad one (like Yaakov did in Lavan's house!)

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

[1] 32:5
[2] 37:34
[3] Bereishis Rabba 76:2