Parashas Acharei Mos - Being Helpful Can Easily Be Un-Helpful

In Parashas Shemini [10:1,] the Torahs tells us the story of Aharon's sons, Nadav and Avihu, whose lives were taken for bringing a sacrifice. The Toras Kohanim explains that their actions were motivated by their overwhelming love for Hashem. When they witnessed the Heavenly fire descend, they felt the urge to contribute a fire of their own to express their love for Hashem. Despite their pure motivation, immediately a Heavenly fire emerged from the Kodesh Kedoshim and consumed them.

Why were they killed for bringing a sacrifice? It seemed like a noble thing to do, didn't it? “After all,” they thought, “Hashem did write in His Torah that the sons of Aharon, the Kohen, shall place a fire on the altar...” [Vayikra 1:7]

The problem: This 'noble' sacrifice was unauthorized. Regardless of their intentions, it's not what Hashem wanted from them. There were “rules” about bringing a sacrifice and they disobeyed those rules.

The question is; why is this episode mentioned again in this week's parasha? It says, “And Hashem spoke to Moshe after the death of Aharon's two sons, who brought a korbon before Hashem. Hashem spoke to Moshe: Speak to your brother Aharon that he not come into the Holy Sanctuary at all times, so that he won't die.” Why wait four parashiyos later to say this?

I think the answer is a big lesson in life. I will first give an example and then explain the lesson.

Sometimes my kids want to be helpful, so they “help” out around the house; what they call 'helpful', we call unhelpful. For example, they take upon themselves to clean and organize the house. The problem: Sometimes, it's easier if they didn't organize the house, because the items we knew where they were are now nowhere to be found! And when we find them, we have to put them back to where they really belong. It was nice and thoughtful, however, unhelpful and time-consuming.

The lesson: When we want to help someone, perhaps it's a good idea to do it the way they want it done. Otherwise it's really the opposite of helping. Nadav and Avihu, too, could have had every good intention on Earth, but they failed to inquire from Moshe Rebeinu whether this is what Hashem wanted.

It's wonderful to want to do an act of kindness for someone else. The question is whether you're really helping them by doing so. The fact that Hashem re-told Moshe to warn Aharon about the gedarim of bringing sacrifices, shows how important it is to do it in the right time, right setting, and the right way – the way the receiver would want it done – and not your way.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso