Parashas Mishpatim - The power of words

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Refua Shelema: Rachamim ben Adina
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Parashas Mishpatim is basically a section of laws teaching us how to behave with one another. These were instructions given to us, while encamped in Mara. I was reading through the parasha, when something got me thinking: The posuk says "Whoever hits his father or his mother shall be put to death (via choking him)[1]... Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death (via stoning him.)"[2]

I didn't understand the punishments given for these two sins. It makes more sense to say you would kill a person by means of stoning if he laid his hands on his parents, or choke a person (to death) if he cursed his parents, blocking off his windpipe, restraining him from speaking. To add to my question, Hashem usually punishes a person midda knegged midda (measure for measure). If so, then certainly the punishments should have been reversed.

I've seen several Rebbeim touch upon the question: The sin of cursing one's parent is more severe than the sin of hitting one's parent, because being stoned to death is a worse punishment than being strangled. Explained below:

Ramban : Cursing is worse because you are mentioning Hashem's Name in the curse.
Gra : When a person hits his parents, it is done to the body, where the wound heals quickly, but verbal abuse hurts the soul, which can take years to heal, or never heal at all.
Rav Yehonasan Eibshitz : By hitting his parents, he thinks he runs the world and not Hashem (G-d forbid), thereby not believing in His existence. By cursing his parents, however, he mentions Hashem's name, acknowledging His existence and asks Hashem to help him do something bad (curse his parents.)[3]

We see how powerful words can be, because the punishment of stoning is much harsher than strangulation. Verbal abuse is forbidden not only to one's parents, but to other people as well. The Chofetz Chaim[4] says, "Joking with someone can constitute loshon hara, because maybe the joke said was funny to himself and maybe to others, but who said the victim also took it as a joke? It's always funny until you are the one being laughed at."

A lesson I learned from Parashas Mishpatim is the influence of a person's speech. People don't realize the pain they cause via speech. Masechta Baba Matiza says that hurting a person through words is worse than stealing from him, because you can always pay back the money which was stolen, but it's not so simple to repair emotional damage. This applies even more so by one's parents.

B'ezras Hashem, we should have the sensitivity towards others, and never stumble on the deadly sin of onas devarim (hurting one through words).

Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso


[1] Rashi 21:15
[2] Rashi 21:17
[3] Sefer Tallelei Oros, p.22-23
[4] Sefer Chofetz Chaim 3:3