Parashas Vayechi - Hating Someone Internally = Hypocrisy

I am going to keep this dvar Torah shorter than usual, because, Baruch Hashem, a good friend of mine made a bris today and I am pretty limited on time (aren't we all?)

I've been trying to find sources in the Torah about hypocrisy. There's a gemara in Brachos [28a] that states in the name of Rav Gamliel, “A person should have his outsides be like his insides.” This means that whatever is going on internally, should also reflect externally. The Torah says, “Don't hate your brother in your heart.” Hating your brother in your heart, while showing him love on the outside is being two-faced, also known as hypocrisy.

By definition it's 'pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have'.

In this week's Parasha, Yaakov summoned Yosef because he had an important request! He explained to Yosef that he wanted his bones to be taken out of Egypt and be buried with his fathers. He makes Yosef promise him that he'll bury him in Ma'aras HaMachpeila.

Doesn't this seem a bit hypocritical? Yaakov buried Rochel Emainu on the side of the road and now he requests Yosef, the son of Rochel, to take his bones out of Egypt to be buried with Avraham, Yitzchak, Sarah, etc?

Rashi points out that Yaakov explained to Yosef the reason why he buried Rochel on the side of the road, and did not bring her body to Ma'aras Hamachpeila. He explained that Rochel will need to be there to help save us in the future. Yaakov had to explain this to Yosef. He saw that Yosef felt resentment (as Rashi says,) and needed to set things straight. He also needed to explain his reason so that he did not seem like he was being hypocritical. After all, the Torah tells us not to hate one's brother in his heart and love him outwardly. It doesn't only apply to hatred because we know Yaakov loved Yosef. However, that posuk also means that one should not contradict himself.



Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Nisso

Parashas VaYigash - Words vs Words & Action

In this week's Parasha, Yosef unveiled his true identity to his brothers. From the moment he said, “I am Yosef, is my father still alive?” his following words were words of comfort:

• “Please come close to me.”
• “I am Yosef, your brother (indicating he has no ill will towards them.)”
• “Now do not worry.”
• “Do not be angry with yourselves.”
• “It was Hashem's plan that I be here. It's not your fault!”
• “Hashem sent me here to ensure your survival during the famine.”
• “Know it was not you who sent me here, it was Hashem.”
• “Bring your family down to Egypt so that I can provide for everyone!”
• He then fell upon his brother, Binyamin's neck and wept.
• He kissed all his brothers and wept upon their necks.
• After that, his brothers spoke with him.

I understand why Yosef wept upon Binyamin's neck – he had never seen him! However, regarding the other brothers, he had seen them recently on a couple occasions. Why did he weep on their necks too?

The reason Yosef told them to “Please come close to me,” was because he saw his brothers backing up. They were shocked and scared. When Yosef spoke nicely, calmly, and assured his forgiveness towards them (for trying to kill him or for selling him,) the Torah mentions nothing about the brothers feeling comforted or safe. As soon as Yosef did the action of “kissing them” and “weeping on them,” the Torah mentioned the brothers “spoke with him,” showing that they were comforted.

In this week's parasha, we see how important it is to not only comfort someone verbally but to also assure them physically. It can be in a form of (in Yosef's case) weeping or kissing them, giving gifts, etc.

Just to leave you off with a question I have: Rashi [45:4 and 45:12] says that Yosef showed his brothers that he was circumcised to show them he was their brother. How is that proof? Showing them he was circumcised only proves either he was Jewish or he was a Yishmaelite over the age of 13 (since they circumcised at age 13.) So what proof was there in showing he was their brother by showing them his bris?

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso

Parashas Miketz & Chanukah - 'The Weak' Beat 'The Strong'

Everyone knows the famous story of Parasha Miketz, which starts off with the anxiety of Pharoh due to his dreams. The posuk says, "He (Pharoh) was standing on the river when seven cows emerged from it - nice, fat looking ones, grazing in the reed grass. Suddenly, seven other cows emerged after them, looking scrawny and bad. These skinny cows consumed the healthy, fat looking cows..."

The second dream he had was of seven skinny stalks swallowing seven bulky stalks. As his anxiety grew, Pharoh wondered, “Usually it's the strong and healthy which reigns over the weak and sick, why were the laws of physics in my dream contrary to what should happen in real life? And why have I had this dream everyday for two years? Is there someone who is weaker than I am that will reign over my kingship? Is it possible?”

This story isn't different from the Chanukah story!

The Yevanim (Greeks) tried destroying every aspect of Judaism we had. They tried making us forget our Torah by forbidding Torah, Mitzvos, and Tefillos. They took everything holy and made it unconsecrated. Hashem came to our aid when we needed it the most. Matisyahu ben Yochanan - Cohen Gadol and the Chashmona'im were given great power and defeated the Greeks. We were out-numbered and weak! Hashem with His Great Mercy took us out of the hands of the Greeks. The weak reigned over the strong!

Rav Brevda (may HaRav Shlomo Leib ben Miriam have a Refua Sheleima b'Karov) says that everyone talks about the Story of Purim and how Haman wanted to annihilate the Jewish population. If you were to ask someone, “What was a bigger miracle, Purim or Chanukah?” Most people would probably answer, “Purim!” However, Rav Brevda says the Story of Chanukah (verses Purim) wasn't as small as we think! We had very little zchus of being saved because we didn't learn Torah or do Mitzvos – we couldn't! Regarding Purim; there was no decree to stop learning Torah or doing Mitzvos! Haman HaRasha just wanted to kill us all. We had the zchus of our Torah and Mitzvos helping us, however, by Chanukah, Hashem mamish saved us with whatever little zchus we had. The weak were now conquering the strong!

So was Pharoh's anxiety irrational? We see in this week's Parasha that Yosef, a slave, rose to be secondary to King!

May we have a wonderful Shabbos and Chanukah!

Nisso

Parashas Vayeishev - What's With All The Emotions?

Here's a short time-line of the beginning of Parashas Vayeishev; the first aliyah:

1. Yosef brought back bad reports about his brothers (to his father.)
2. Yaakov loved Yosef more than any of his sons.
3. Yaakov made Yosef a colorful garment.
4. Yosef's brothers saw their father loved him more than the other sons.
5. And they hated him.
6. They could not speak to him peaceably.
7. Yosef had a dream and he told his brothers he had a dream.
8. And they hated him even more.
9. He told them the dream.
10. They hated him even more because of his dreams and his words.
11. He had another dream.
12. He told it to his father and his brothers.
13. His father 'rebuked' him.
14. His brothers were jealous of him.

I've got several questions on this setup.

1. If the brothers saw that their father favored Yosef, why would they hate [step 5] him? Isn't it more accurate to say they were jealous of him?
2. Why did it say [step 8] they hated Yosef after he told his brothers he had a dream, but before he actually told them what the dream was?
3. After his father rebuked him [step 13 - after the 2^nd dream,] it says his brothers were jealous of him. Isn't it more accurate to say they were happy or relieved? Yaakov just put his favorite son 'in his place' – why would the posuk say they were jealous of Yosef after that?

I think the answer is:

1. His brothers didn't hate Yosef for having been favored more than the rest. Yes, they probably felt hurt, but that emotion would be best defined as jealousy. So then why did it say they hated him [in step 5?] Perhaps it said they hated him in regards to step 6. Since they felt ill-will towards him, they could not speak to him in a peaceful manner. Doing that would mean they are two-facing him (loving him outwardly, but hating him in their hearts,) which the Torah commands us not to do.
2. They didn't want to hear the details of his dreams because [step 10] the Torah mentioned they hated his words. Anything he said they hated. It's inferred that they didn't want to hear him talk, therefore, they didn't need to hear the details of his dream to hate him.
3. When the Torah said they were jealous of him [step 14] right after their father 'put him in his place' wasn't because Yosef was put in his place. The Torah mentions they were jealous of him because they were jealous! The last emotion (jealousy) was going on the whole picture – not the individual steps.

There are many questions in these types of Parashas. Sometimes better questions than answers. I hope I helped answer a few.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

Nisso